


Supernatural Drabbles and Ficlets

by cuddyclothes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brothers Having Fun, Crack, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Gen, Human Castiel, Humor, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Soulless Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-09 00:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13469628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddyclothes/pseuds/cuddyclothes
Summary: These are a series of drabbles and ficlets, mostly in response to prompts from the Live Journal community spn_bigpretzel, "The Sunnier Side of Supernatural".Snowball fights, killer childhood icons, human Castiel dealing with his first pee, Bobby's first movie performance...and oh, so much more.





	1. Snowball Fight

Even though the bunker was huge, the brothers had cabin fever.  
  
“Snowball fight!” Dean yelled, wrapping a scarf around his neck.  
  
“I will CREAM you!” Sam galloped up the stairs.  
  
Outside, they pelted each other with snowballs. Dean was faster, ducking and dodging, but Sam’s aim was better. “Ouch! Sonovabitch!” Dean cried when a snowball smashed into his shoulder.  
  
“Dean is a wussy, Dean is a wussy—“ Sam sing-songed.  
  
A snowball whizzed past their heads. It smashed into the bunker door so hard it made a dent. Sam and Dean stopped and went into a battle crouch.  
  
“What?” asked Castiel.


	2. Taking Care of Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wayward Sisters!

“Hello?”  
  
“Jodes, we gotta a situation on our hands.”  
  
"...which one?”  
  
“Both. They’ve been carryin’ on like wet cats for the last hour. Ya gotta do somethin’ for me.”  
  
“Donna, I’m on the job. I can’t take a break.”  
  
“JODES!”  
  
“All right, _what_?”  
  
“You gotta get to Hot Topical and get a Rhianna t-shirt. Alex wore Claire’s t-shirt, went out with that guy in her science class and now it’s all muddy.”  
  
 **“WHAT?”**  
  
“I’m too busy trying to get the story outta Alex and keepin’ Claire from killin’ her, Jodes.”  
  
“Okay, Donna.”  
  
“You’re an angel.”  
  
“ _Don’t call me that!_ ”  
  
“Sorry.”


	3. Twas On A Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drabble for the 2013 spn_bigpretzel Christmas Challenge - some childhood friends are actually more dangerous than you think.

It was almost midnight. The Winchesters trudged down the deserted street until they came to the town square. Dean put the ingredients in a bowl for the ritual. Santa hats on, they began to sing.  
  
_Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul_  
 _With a corn cob pipe and a button nose,and two eyes made of coal!_  
 _Frosty the Snowman, is a fairytale, they say._  
 _He was made of snow, but the children know he came to life one day!_  
  
Sam set fire to the ingredients. An unholy howl filled the air. Frosty was gone, never to kill again. 


	4. Silent Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas fic - always inspect presents from the Winchester boys.

Dean and Sam piled into Jody’s cabin, singing at the top of their lungs.  
  
_“Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright_  
 _Round yon virgin Mother and Child—“_  
  
(They’d made sure to learn the words.)  
  
“Sam! Dean!” Claire and Annie hugged the brothers.  
  
“We brought presents!” Dean announced. He thrust packages at the girls. As Claire tore open hers, Jody’s eyes widened. She snatched the package away.  
  
“Hey!” Claire exclaimed.  
  
“Hey!” Dean echoed.  
  
Jody wasn’t about to let her girls have a red matching lacy bra/open crotch panty set, a pack of cigarettes, and “Raging Bulls” magazine.


	5. An Apple A Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a doctor sets Dean's broken wrist, he gets more than he bargained for.

“Young man, I’ve taken a look at your blood work. Your cholesterol is extremely high, your blood sugar level concerns me, and your blood pressure...” The doctor trailed off. Dean sat on the examining table, wrist in a cast. “You’re one day away from a massive heart attack.”

“Cas!”

Cas appeared. The doctor jumped back, gasping.

“What is it, Dean? I’m busy fighting a war.”

“Fix me! Doc, you tell him.”

Staring, the doctor repeated Dean’s health problems.

“Very well.” Castiel laid his fingertips on Dean’s forehead, then vanished. Dean smiled at the white-faced doctor.

“How’s that for health insurance?”


	6. Big Gulps And French Fries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby is not happy that Dean has slacked off on keeping her clean. Baby POV

Baby was fed up. Dean and Sam had driven her nonstop for weeks. Which meant Dean ate in the car often. Cheeseburgers, french fries, soda. Napkins on the floor, empty Big Gulps tossed into the back, crumbs everywhere. He was too busy to clean up.  
  
Yes, Sam picked up bits of lettuce from her floor, and occasionally cleared out the garbage. But most of the time the boys were too lazy to care. But Baby cared. She had to do something.  
  
Dean came out of the motel, opened Baby’s door, and gasped. There was a napkin in the front seat, with nearly illegible writing.  
  
 **CLEEN UPHOLSTRY PLEEZ  
**


	7. Nowhere To Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the box. Outsider POV.

They are looking for me. There is no escape from the Winchesters, I know that much. Years of ganking everything that breathed, or didn’t breathe, and had once breathed and now didn’t or had never breathed at all--stop obsessing--

Was that Sam’s footsteps? Oh, no, oh, no, _please_ \--

Are they coming closer? No, no, no, no--

Phew! He’s walking away. The door closed.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

What’s that--what’s that? No, it can’t be--why me? Why do the Winchesters want _me_?

**_AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!_ **

“I’ve been looking all over for this! Sam,who puts pie in a freakin' dungeon?”


	8. In A World...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby Singer's screen debut - The Movie Trailer

(LIGHTNING, THUNDER, BARELY SEEN MONSTERS)  
(DEEP VOICE)

  
In a world where nothing is what it seems, where chaos rules, where staying alive is the only thing that matters:  
  
You won’t find Bobby Singer.  
  
(SHOT OF BOBBY DRINKING AS HE PORES OVER A BOOK)  
  
He’s alone. With his books. His booze. And the answers. But even in a drunken stupor, he is the man who is going to save the Earth, because Bobby Singer IS  
  
(CLOSE SHOT OF ANSWERING THE PHONE, PANNING UP TO BOBBY’S FACE)  
  
“I told you, it’s a brass blade, not copper!”  (HANGS UP)  
  
“Idjit”  
  
The Lore Whisperer.


	9. The Song Doesn't Remain The Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam hears a noise in the bunker and can't figure out what it is.

When Sam first heard it, he was in the bunker kitchen, making himself a ham and cheese sandwich.  _Where is that coming from?_   Sam paced through the entrance, the library, even stuck his head in the garage.  It was coming through the air vents.  The source couldn’t be pinpointed.

Come on, he was a hunter, he could find it.  Closing his eyes, he walked through the bunker, the sound gradually growing louder.  _Ah-ha!_

Sam walked into to Dean’s room.  Dean sat bolt upright, guilt written across his face.  Beethoven’s Eroica Symphony blasted from the CD player.

“Shut the damn door!”


	10. My Junk Feels Funny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Human Castiel takes his first pee.

Cas shivered.  His stolen clothes were too light.

“What?” he thought.  “My stomach isn’t full.  The fullness is too far below.”

He ducked down an alley, into the darkness, to inspect himself.  He knew from the all the times Dean yelled at him that humans disrobed in private.  The former angel unzipped his pants.  Cas couldn’t see anything wrong. 

There was something coming out of his--what did Dean call it--his junk!  He grabbed the junk, pointed it at the wall to keep it off himself, and sprayed the brick.  He felt tremendous relief.

“Was that my first orgasm?”


	11. Party On, Dean!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's had the time of his life. For once, Sam doesn't care.

Dean stumbled into the motel room, hair mussed, mouth raw from kissing, still drunk. It was 9 AM, which made no difference to Sam, because he didn’t sleep.

“That was the most—incredible—fucking amazing—New Year’s Eve party I’ve ever been to,” Dean said, grinning like a moron. “I can’t believe they bought I was a movie producer.” His eyes were bloodshot. 

“Neither can I.” Sam picked up the remote and started channel surfing.

Dean slid down onto the other bed, cackling.

“There was this glass—thing. I don’t think I—no, I know I can’t describe it. It was awesome. And they had champagne, the best drugs— I ended up in bed with three of the hottest chicks, I mean HOT. I lived the Great American Penthouse Forum Dream!”

Sam looked his brother. “Cool.”

“If you had a soul you’d give me _so_ much crap.”

“Yeah?

“Yeah!  Just say no, safe sex, mingling with strangers, blah blah blah.”

“I don’t care what you do, Dean.”

“I know! It’s AWESOME!”

Dean passed out, smiling.

Sam clicked on the Discovery Channel.  Oh, good, _I Have A 132 Pound Scrotum_ was on.


	12. Night Swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A silly little ficlet based on a prompt in LJ's spn_bigpretzel meme, "What I did On My Summer Vacation". One night in the bunker, Dean and Sam teach Castiel to swim.

“You have to take your clothes off,” Dean said.  “Don’t worry, we won’t look.”

Sam side-eyed his brother.  “There’s a locker room, change in there.  I found one of these.”  Sam tossed Cas an ancient wool bathing suit. “Why do you want to swim, anyway?  You can poof yourself anywhere.”

“It might be...enjoyable.” Cas looked doubtfully at the shimmering water of the bunker pool.  He went into the locker room, emerging a millisecond later in an oversized 1920s wool onesie.  Ignoring the brothers’ derision, he dipped a toe into the water and jumped back.  “It’s cold.”

“It’s supposed to be cold, Cas,” said Sam.  “Go in the shallow end.”

“This will not be enjoyable,” Cas muttered, going to the ladder at the shallow end.  Concentrating, he lowered himself halfway into the water and stopped.  “This is definitely not enjoyable.”

Dean snickered.  Sam jumped into the pool, fully clothed, and walked over to the startled angel.  “This is how Dad taught us to swim.”  He picked up the angel under the arms and threw him into the pool, closer to the deep end.  Cas sputtered, but could still stand up.

“Come on, boy, swim, that’s an order!” Dean barked.

“You WILL swim!” Sam mimicked Dean.

“And don’t poof out of there!”

Sam walked closer, his flannel shirt trailing on the surface of the water like a cape.  “Come on, Cas!  You can do it.”

“You’re too tall to understand,” Cas snapped.

“Do one of your equations of body weight versus the weight of the water etcetera,” Sam said patiently.  “Come a little farther out, I’ll teach you how to tread water.”

Suddenly Cas was no longer in the pool, he was on the surface of the pool, looking down at Sam.  “I already know how to tread water.”


End file.
